So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There r osticjed everywhere
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
