Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Drake has all the answers
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
