I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
