some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
