dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
