Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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