the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
