That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize