they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
