So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
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