Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
