We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
