Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
