I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
