She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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