Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
