i think my mom watched the whole time
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
