Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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