She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I need water and some morals
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize