I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
