your parents love me but you hate me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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