bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
