the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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