Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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