its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
