we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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