TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
