Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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