Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
