Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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