She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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