Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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