our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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