I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You smell like stripper and shame
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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