Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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