we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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