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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
