pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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