It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
