ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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