I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
