That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
