Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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