just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
3pm strippers are depressing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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