Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
