Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
