Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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