so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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