i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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