i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
