If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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