Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
