the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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