That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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