belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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