D3 body, D1 cock
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize