If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
