shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
