Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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