You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
