I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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