Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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