laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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